Glad to have made yet another new friend from my blog. (You know who you are, we just chatted over the phone this afternoon.)
What is blessing this blog is turning out to be even though I hardly blog in it anymore.
Busy... busy... busy...
Still busy.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
More on APA and Reparative Therapy
Rich Wyler has posted his take on the APA Report on the People Can Change blog. I especially like the points he makes under "What the APA Report Doesn't Say." (link)
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Other matters. Have a tight deadline coming up. Will not be posting or responding to comments for at least two weeks.
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Other matters. Have a tight deadline coming up. Will not be posting or responding to comments for at least two weeks.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Plug for Newsy.com
Boy, is this blog starting to change or what?
First, I get all serious. Now, I'm advertising for businesses. o.O
A staff member from Newsy.com contacted me and told me about their news coverage on the APA's declaration of reparative therapy (which I blogged about here). Their coverage compares five--yes, FIVE--contrasting news sources . She asked me to consider embedding the video.
Well, I considered, and here it is.
So why did I make this plug for Newsy.com?
Because at the end of the coverage, they asked open questions. OPEN QUESTIONS!!! How could I resist? :-D
And don't you just love their tagline? "Newsy.com. Where multiple perspectives are the real story." Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
"Psst! Rosa, how much do I get for this plug?"
First, I get all serious. Now, I'm advertising for businesses. o.O
A staff member from Newsy.com contacted me and told me about their news coverage on the APA's declaration of reparative therapy (which I blogged about here). Their coverage compares five--yes, FIVE--contrasting news sources . She asked me to consider embedding the video.
Well, I considered, and here it is.
So why did I make this plug for Newsy.com?
Because at the end of the coverage, they asked open questions. OPEN QUESTIONS!!! How could I resist? :-D
And don't you just love their tagline? "Newsy.com. Where multiple perspectives are the real story." Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
"Psst! Rosa, how much do I get for this plug?"
Thursday, August 6, 2009
American Psychological Association's Declaration on Reparative Therapy
I wanted to share my reply to Carleton1958's recent blog post entitled: My faith vs. the APA's declaration on reparative therapy
Here is the article from the Associated Press: Psychologists repudiate gay-to-straight therapy.
And my response to Carleton1958 (in quotes):
"Like you, I too exist, and I can say that my same-sex sexual attractions have diminished so significantly and my opposite-sex attractions increased that I would say that my orientation itself has changed. And this, due to what can be called "reparative intervention" although not formalized.
Nicolosi said that he and Jones and Yarhouse tried to get a representative into that small task-force in APA, but were not allowed (link). As a response, they created this document and insisted that the APA respond to it: www.narth.com/docs/journalsummary.html
There is so much variation in sexuality and the article (and APA itself) failed to point out that the polarization of gay vs. straight is mostly political. Many fall under variations that if help for their unwanted same-sex desires were sought, could decide on nuanced paths that were more consistent with their faith beliefs. Clearly, the APA is still politically (morally?) biased, not scientific, if they dare to be really honest about it."
- - -
Warren Throckmorton has also issued a response (link). I have not had time to read it in detail, but from what I have read (and all of my knowledge on SSA so far), questions begin to come to mind:
My advice to all of my friends who read my blog: submit yourselves to God and then let your experience--not institutional declarations--show you the next steps to take. Neither the APA, nor NARTH, nor Throckmorton, nor I ( O . O ), have all the answers. Instead, let's gather together and share what God is doing in our lives so that we can learn from each others' experiences.
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Edit: This just in. The Wall Street Journal also published an article on the topic (link). Haven't read it yet, but the byline reads: "Psychological Association Revises Treatment Guidelines to Allow Counselors to Help Clients Reject Their Same-Sex Attractions."
Really?
I need to find an actual statement from the APA and decide for myself what they said. Secondary sources. Meh.
- - -
Final Edit: Here we go. The actual release summary by APA (link), and the actual report, all 138 pages of it (link)!
Here is the article from the Associated Press: Psychologists repudiate gay-to-straight therapy.
And my response to Carleton1958 (in quotes):
"Like you, I too exist, and I can say that my same-sex sexual attractions have diminished so significantly and my opposite-sex attractions increased that I would say that my orientation itself has changed. And this, due to what can be called "reparative intervention" although not formalized.
Nicolosi said that he and Jones and Yarhouse tried to get a representative into that small task-force in APA, but were not allowed (link). As a response, they created this document and insisted that the APA respond to it: www.narth.com/docs/
There is so much variation in sexuality and the article (and APA itself) failed to point out that the polarization of gay vs. straight is mostly political. Many fall under variations that if help for their unwanted same-sex desires were sought, could decide on nuanced paths that were more consistent with their faith beliefs. Clearly, the APA is still politically (morally?) biased, not scientific, if they dare to be really honest about it."
- - -
Warren Throckmorton has also issued a response (link). I have not had time to read it in detail, but from what I have read (and all of my knowledge on SSA so far), questions begin to come to mind:
- What is sexual orientation, and how does it differ from sexual identity?
- Is there a monolithic approach to reparative therapy?
- Is reparative therapy about re-orientation or identity development?
- Who defines what is straight and what is gay? By what criteria? According to behavior? To identity?
- What happened to me? Was it intervention on my reparative needs? Was it identity shifting? Was it the deep meeting of my male-attachment needs? Was it "all of the above" but reductionistic thinking wants to isolate it to one main thing?
My advice to all of my friends who read my blog: submit yourselves to God and then let your experience--not institutional declarations--show you the next steps to take. Neither the APA, nor NARTH, nor Throckmorton, nor I ( O . O ), have all the answers. Instead, let's gather together and share what God is doing in our lives so that we can learn from each others' experiences.
- - -
Edit: This just in. The Wall Street Journal also published an article on the topic (link). Haven't read it yet, but the byline reads: "Psychological Association Revises Treatment Guidelines to Allow Counselors to Help Clients Reject Their Same-Sex Attractions."
Really?
I need to find an actual statement from the APA and decide for myself what they said. Secondary sources. Meh.
- - -
Final Edit: Here we go. The actual release summary by APA (link), and the actual report, all 138 pages of it (link)!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Exodus Reflections (II)
[Exodus Reflections I: link]
Three things happened to me at the conference. One, I received new and helpful information on SSA. Two, I had some significant interactions with people and with God that helped me better understand where I am in my journey. Three, I left with a solidifying sense of purpose and calling going into the future.
1. New and Helpful Information
(a) Is Exodus Interested in Change?
In the opening talk, Alan Chambers asserted that the primary purpose of Exodus is not to change people from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but to holiness.
For a while, I had been frustrated when people fed me that same line whenever I told them about my change experience (that is, change in same-sex sexual desires). I felt that they were saying "we just want Christ, becoming heterosexual is not really possible anyway."
What's the point of Exodus if it is not focusing on change in SSA? I can find God and grow deeply in my spiritual walk through other ministries (and I have). Isn't getting rid of my unwanted same-sex sexual desires something that makes a ministry like Exodus what it is? If so, then why water it down?
When I asked Randy Thomas in a face-to-face why Alan Chambers would not consider sexual desire change to be important, he felt that I had taken Alan's words too far. He said that Exodus sees same-sex sexual desire change as a by-product of the pursuit of holiness, and what mental health professionals are doing to help sexual desire change is "complementary" to Exodus' goals.
As the conference went on, it became very obvious through the workshops, testimonies, books, etc. that Exodus is very much pro-change, pro-freedom-from-homosexuality, whatever you want to call it. But in their official stance, holiness is primary, not heterosexuality.
In the large worship hall where I saw close to a thousand people at various stages of their change experience all worshiping Jesus, it finally dawned on me that focus on sexual desire change should not be the main message. Holiness is the message. It turns our eyes to the author and healer of our souls: Jesus. I had assumed, as a follow of Christ, that my change comes from God, but not everyone in the auditorium did, and not everyone in the media watching Exodus' work does. The testimony of Exodus ought not to be about change in sexual orientation (although that is what Exodus is about: they prefer to call it "freedom from homosexuality"), it ought to be about Jesus. I learned something new and important about rhetoric in ministry and organizational leadership.
(b) Other New and Helpful Information on SSA
Three things happened to me at the conference. One, I received new and helpful information on SSA. Two, I had some significant interactions with people and with God that helped me better understand where I am in my journey. Three, I left with a solidifying sense of purpose and calling going into the future.
1. New and Helpful Information
(a) Is Exodus Interested in Change?
In the opening talk, Alan Chambers asserted that the primary purpose of Exodus is not to change people from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but to holiness.
For a while, I had been frustrated when people fed me that same line whenever I told them about my change experience (that is, change in same-sex sexual desires). I felt that they were saying "we just want Christ, becoming heterosexual is not really possible anyway."
What's the point of Exodus if it is not focusing on change in SSA? I can find God and grow deeply in my spiritual walk through other ministries (and I have). Isn't getting rid of my unwanted same-sex sexual desires something that makes a ministry like Exodus what it is? If so, then why water it down?
When I asked Randy Thomas in a face-to-face why Alan Chambers would not consider sexual desire change to be important, he felt that I had taken Alan's words too far. He said that Exodus sees same-sex sexual desire change as a by-product of the pursuit of holiness, and what mental health professionals are doing to help sexual desire change is "complementary" to Exodus' goals.
As the conference went on, it became very obvious through the workshops, testimonies, books, etc. that Exodus is very much pro-change, pro-freedom-from-homosexuality, whatever you want to call it. But in their official stance, holiness is primary, not heterosexuality.
In the large worship hall where I saw close to a thousand people at various stages of their change experience all worshiping Jesus, it finally dawned on me that focus on sexual desire change should not be the main message. Holiness is the message. It turns our eyes to the author and healer of our souls: Jesus. I had assumed, as a follow of Christ, that my change comes from God, but not everyone in the auditorium did, and not everyone in the media watching Exodus' work does. The testimony of Exodus ought not to be about change in sexual orientation (although that is what Exodus is about: they prefer to call it "freedom from homosexuality"), it ought to be about Jesus. I learned something new and important about rhetoric in ministry and organizational leadership.
(b) Other New and Helpful Information on SSA
- Iron-clad biblical theology asserting heterosexuality as God's design and homosexuality as sin by Dr. Robert Gagnon (link)
- Randy Thomas' argument that we are now in a post-gay era, and the gay versus ex-gay dichotomy is just not a good reflection of what is really going on in people's experience and conceptualizations of themselves (link).
- Hearing a panel of speakers answer a question as to why despite years of freedom from homosexuality, some people still have "gay affectations." The answer from one very straight-acting panelist was that he had realized that he stuck with his effeminate behavior as a defense against fully embracing masculinity. When he finally confronted himself, then he was able to enter into masculinity in its fullness, affectations and all. Later, when I recounted the story to another attendee and told him that I am at the place where I actually really want to be a jock, his immediate response was: "Eew!"
- A bold document has been published by NARTH to hold the American Psychological Association accountable to research-backed statements which counter their early unsubstantiated statement that sexual orientation cannot be changed, it is harmful to try to change it, and there is no greater psychological dysfunction in the homosexual population. These are NARTH's opposing claims, with the document given to the APA: (1) There is substantial evidence that sexual orientation may be changed through reorientation therapy; (2) Efforts to change sexual orientation have not been shown to be consistently harmful or to regularly lead to greater self-hatred, depression, and other self-destructive behaviors; (3) There is significantly greater medical, psychological, and relational pathology in the homosexual population than the general population (link). Currently, the APA has set up a task-force to re-evaluate their earlier statement. NARTH researchers tried to get a representative onto the task-force, but APA did not allow it. It currently comprises only pro-gay activists. The task force will share their deliberation in the upcoming month or so.
- Hearing Nicolosi talk, I gained new insights about reparative therapy. His ideas are based on the latest empirically-supported understanding of psychotherapy interventions. I was impressed. One idea is that shame leads to homosexual enactment. So to help people overcome SSA, helping them overcome their shame response and cycle is crucial. I will be reading more about Nicolosi for sure. (Nicolosi: link)
Friday, July 24, 2009
Exodus Reflections (I)
On the way to the conference, I picked up Brother Luke. I had known him for only a short time through the internet. A friend had told him about this blog, and we got connected after he read several of my posts.
He seemed much softer in person. The sharp and caustic wit that came through our text chats somehow disappeared. We had developed a friendship based on our repartee, and I had grown fond of him. Fond of him enough to be afraid that if he were to "jump me," I might not be able to resist him.
Meeting him in person laid my fears to rest. Luke was a very gentle man of God who has loved and served his wife and children for years. Maybe a little too much, to the point where he was burning out, not receiving affirmation for his sacrifice. He would be the last person to jump anyone! We laughed when I told him the next day that I was afraid he would jump me when I met him.
The rest of the travels went well. Luke asked me questions, and I absentmindedly answered away, blahblahing about myself from the various different perspectives with which I confound myself in my head. Apparently, he wasn't bored. Imagine that.
We arrived.
As I walked towards the registration area, I struggled with being associated with so many feminine-acting men. I wish I could say it was a passing thought, but it wasn't. It took at least until the next day for me to ease up on that thought. I had my name altered on my badge so that my real name could not be deciphered. Luke did the same. However, by the end of the conference, all of my business cards were gone, given away to anyone who had asked for one--because I had opened my big mouth during the Q&A of a workshop, and received a lot of attention from folks interested in what I do. So much for my cloaked identity.
Brother A was there. We hugged. I remembered how much I missed him: a lot, not obsessively, but a healthily lot. I saw Elder SM too. It felt so good to see him in an unfamiliar context. I had attended elder SM's ministry for an entire year and had come to trust him. Two months ago, I shared with elder SM about Brother A and God's healing in my life through that relationship. Seeing elder SM and Brother A connect with each other was really special.
Brother Luke, Brother A, elder SM.
I was starting to feel better about being there.
---
Other people blogging about their Exodus experiences:
n'Process
twoBeckonings
rusty0505
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Thou O Lord
Conversation from the recent past
Wife, awaken in bed: What are you doing up so late?
Me, sighing: I was looking at porn...
Wife: What?
Me: Yeah. I was looking at porn, but nothing. Gay, straight, male, female... nothing. It did nothing for me. (more sighing)
Wife, reaching out to hold my hand: You know, honey, you're desperately looking for something to fill you. Only one thing can do that: God.
Me: ...
Wife: That's what you really want. You want God to fill up the void that's been left open from the healing you've received.
Me: ...
Wife: ...
Me: I always knew there was a reason why God told me to marry you. He wanted to keep me on track with a woman after His own heart.
Then, we prayed.
Tonight
Instead of going to places where fulfillment can no longer be found, I went to God. These words came to me: Thou o Lord, are a shield about me.
I Googled. And found this...
Psalm 3:1-5 (KJV)
1 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! Many are they that rise up against me.
2 Many there be which say of my soul, there is no help for him in God. Selah.
3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.
And this...
Tears streamed down my face, my arms lifted high!
How many years has it been Lord that I have believed in the enemy's lie that there is no help for me; that there is no hope for change. I have cried to You for years for healing from these desires. I had lost hope, and clung desperately to obedience alone, because I knew that You desired my obedience more than sacrifice.
I never imagined THIS day would come when I would be completely healed of my homosexual attractions. Indeed, You have been a shield about me. You have heard my cries. You are my glory and the lifter of my head!
Fill me with Your Spirit, Lord Jesus. Teach me how to saturate my being with You until I desire Your presence more than food or drink. Let my soul sing songs of gratitude and praise to You all the days of my life.
Wife, awaken in bed: What are you doing up so late?
Me, sighing: I was looking at porn...
Wife: What?
Me: Yeah. I was looking at porn, but nothing. Gay, straight, male, female... nothing. It did nothing for me. (more sighing)
Wife, reaching out to hold my hand: You know, honey, you're desperately looking for something to fill you. Only one thing can do that: God.
Me: ...
Wife: That's what you really want. You want God to fill up the void that's been left open from the healing you've received.
Me: ...
Wife: ...
Me: I always knew there was a reason why God told me to marry you. He wanted to keep me on track with a woman after His own heart.
Then, we prayed.
Tonight
Instead of going to places where fulfillment can no longer be found, I went to God. These words came to me: Thou o Lord, are a shield about me.
I Googled. And found this...
Psalm 3:1-5 (KJV)
1 Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! Many are they that rise up against me.
2 Many there be which say of my soul, there is no help for him in God. Selah.
3 But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.
And this...
Tears streamed down my face, my arms lifted high!
How many years has it been Lord that I have believed in the enemy's lie that there is no help for me; that there is no hope for change. I have cried to You for years for healing from these desires. I had lost hope, and clung desperately to obedience alone, because I knew that You desired my obedience more than sacrifice.
I never imagined THIS day would come when I would be completely healed of my homosexual attractions. Indeed, You have been a shield about me. You have heard my cries. You are my glory and the lifter of my head!
Fill me with Your Spirit, Lord Jesus. Teach me how to saturate my being with You until I desire Your presence more than food or drink. Let my soul sing songs of gratitude and praise to You all the days of my life.
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