Friday, March 27, 2009

The Insanity Within


The more I try to sort through my feelings, the more I get caught up in a loop.

I only know this: The same-sex attraction I used to feel is gone, and has been gone now for two whole weeks.

And this: I am scared to hell of what is happening to me.

Other that those two things, I don't know anything else. I don't know if Brother is changing; or if I should visit him; or if I am being too much for him; or if he really loves me; or if I am too much of an imposition; or if he is scared of me; blah blah blah.

Turn Brain On.

I'm going to walk away from my attachment to Brother. Let's see where this will take me. If the same-sex attraction comes back, well, I've lived with it for decades. Nothing new.

Come what may, I am Yours, Lord. I have always been.

- - -

One more thing: I have a hunger right now to go play basketball. I have never felt this before. Ever.

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