I feel alone. This change is so unique, I don't really have anyone to talk to, to fellowship with, to exchange notes with.
I want men. Ex-gay men who no longer have homosexual feelings, but now have only heterosexual feelings. Men who can mentor me through this transition as I mutate from Same-Sex sexual Attraction to Other-Sex sexual Attraction.
Mutate. That's exactly what this change feels like. Someone pumped adamantium into my sexuality and turned me into a straight man.
For the past few mornings, I'd wake up with a huge piece of morning wood. Images of women--my wife especially--flood my mind. All I want to do is to hump. Have sex. Not make love. Just have sex.
I am becoming like my other straight male friends, I want sex with women just for the yahyah of it. The need for warm, fuzzy, orgasmic love with a man has retreated into a place I can't seem to access anymore.
I never imagined that such change for good would feel so uncomfortable, so foreign, so isolating.
I need a Xavier.